If I Ruled The World…..by Michael Younger

Jamie Cullum once sang if he ruled the world “every day would be the first day of spring”. A great idea, but if I ruled the world it wouldn’t be one of the first 6 things I would do. These would be…

3 Day Weekends 

It can’t only be me who notices everyone is happier when it’s a Bank Holiday? Tourist attractions seem to be busier, local parks are full of dog walkers/families having a good time and the economy thrives.

So, if I ruled every weekend would be a 3 day one, starting on a Friday.

It would mean less time being stuck in a hot & sweaty office during the summer, more time to do the Christmas shopping, and we’d also get more time to spend with family and friends.

More Dog Friendly Shops/Restaurants 

All shopkeepers/restaurant owners will have to open their doors to “man’s best friend”. Ok, perhaps I’m slightly biased as I’m a dog owner (our rescue pooch even has her own Twitter account), but there aren’t enough dog friendly shops / restaurants.

If you visit (some) coastal resorts, dog friendly shops are slightly more common, and there are two cat cafes set to open in Birmingham, but why isn’t there more for shops which are dog friendly? Under my rule, they all would be.

No More Self-Serve Checkouts

Controversial maybe, but are these really beneficial? Honestly, have you never got frustrated at the computer advising you to place your item in the bagging area/that there’s an unexpected item in the bagging area? You cannot win with these machines.

Remove them & with them one less frustration from shopping. It would (surely) help reduce the unemployment rate as shops would need more staff. For me, this is a win-win solution.

Cheaper Football Tickets

The beautiful game, invented in England – yet fans are being priced out of it (Arsenal charge up to £97 for a match day ticket).

Time to make it cheaper by capping tickets at £25 - & this is plenty, especially when you can pay less than £10 to watch Birmingham Ladies & less than £5 to watch Aston Villa Ladies.

Ps. I’d also make sure all games went back to 3pm Saturday Kick-Offs.

Moaning Monday Mornings

I get people need to vent from time to time – so lets limit that time to Monday mornings, between 7am and 9am. A 2 hour slot to let off steam, whinge and moan. But moan outside of these times and you face a fine which goes to charity – either £10 per moan or an hour of your time given to charity.

Free Cake & Coffee Friday 

So I’ve introduced longer weekends, and what better way to start your weekend with free coffee and cake (limited to 1 per person) at your local independent coffee shop. But it comes with T&Cs…1) it’s only valid between 10am & midday, 2) you must purchase something from the coffee shop too.

By Mike Younger – Copywriter (by nature) & Twitter user (@MYounger14). And you can reach Tilly on Twitter @T1lly_dog.